Leon C Pereira PhD
Clinical & Behavioral Psychologist
45-955 Kamehamema Hwy, Suite 401
Kaneohe, Hawaii 96744
Parenting - Page 2
Similarly, if you give in even once to your child when he or she tries to manipulate you, your child will have reason to keep trying to get his or her way again and again. He or she has made a "sale" and achieved the desired result. [Note that children may not be deliberately manipulative; rather, with experience they learn what works.] If, however, "yes" means "yes" and "no" means "no," no matter how much your child begs, pleads, annoys, or charms, you retain control and your child has no incentive to keep working on you because you are not "buying."
By using the question "Is it reasonable, appropriate, and fair?" as your guide, you also avoid the inconsistency that results from you letting your mood, fatigue, guilt, etc result in your giving in to a child's "demands". One more thing, always use a calm voice when instructing or correcting your child. Never ever raise your voice. Save the high-pitched voice for praise; use a low-pitched voice for direction and discipline.
I can teach you how to implement these effective principles and much more, such as how to get what you want without ever yelling, threatening, or hitting. Give me a call at 255-3618 to make an appointment.
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